Huitzilihuitl's Reign of Death

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 15 February

2012-01-28T09:57:00.001+11:00

As the boggle-eyed girl from season 4 of Whale Wars looks on still not saying anything we create BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! in February.

MARVEL AT THE SCREEN TIME WITHOUT WORDS!

And bring yourself with your words to

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

because

we give you a stage a microphone an audience five judges

the Score Adder two MCs and

the Master of Conflict

all within easy reach of alcohol so that we can hear your words.

The spectacle

The words

Be speech-eyed

Be boggle-less

In the face of words

And then cheer, heckle or get back to your conversations

about that television/walk/awesome tie

show with the people in it.

YES

Words

BE AT BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

BOGGLE!

And this month we bring you direct from distant flooded banks

From the place that curses ‘cause they took our guns

From the land that according to Wikipedia

only has one famous person, Codie Simpson, whoever he is

We bring you the Broken Records Collective

CHEER!

For those who don’t know The Broken Records Collective

THEY TELL MYTHS TO BUS DRIVERS

AND MAKE US ALL LATE FOR WORK.

And have been doing this since 2010.

And they are a SPOKEN WORD COLLECTIVE.

And they have featured at the Woodford Folk Festival, at the Laura Street Festival in Uncle Bill’s Backyard, appeared at the Queensland Poetry Festival 2010, and are regular hosts and performers at Words or Whatever.

They will put a sling shot to the head of poetry

For you

BOGGLE

BUTYRIC ACID

GYOZA

And be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! with your words, your hands, your arms and legs, your voices, your original material to join Jacinta, The Master of Conflict, The Score Adder, Andrew Galan

and

THE BROKEN RECORDS COLLECTIVE!

Remember no props, 2 minutes, no music, and your original material at The Phoenix pub.

A poem by me published at Verity La:

2011-12-14T08:41:00.005+11:00

Bag Bog Cat, the Caterpillar an’ the Glue Man

Dione, courtesy of Nasa's Cassini spacecraft, 12 December 2011

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 21 December

2011-12-11T20:39:00.002+11:00

Poetry is
the real winner

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! IS UPON YOU

AGAIN!

Because it is December and no month is complete

without BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

yelling something from the men’s toilet at

the back of the Phoenix

And at people walking past poetry on the way to

the back of the Phoenix

Or back to the bar

Or to a table

BECAUSE THIS MONTH YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET

TO THE TOILET

Without poetry

Without climbing over

A mass collection of brass instruments

And poetry

‘Cause this month is BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

Mass house band and your poetry mass month

THAT MEANS WE WANT YOUR WORDS ON STAGE

For prizes

For common sense

For sense

For uncommon sense

For mass sense

FOR YOU TO GIVE ANYONE THAT TALKS ABOUT GIVING STUFF

TO THE MASSES A MASS PUNCH IN THEIR MASS FACE

Really, the masses, who talks like that?

PRIZES!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

With special house band

THE BRASS KNUCKLE BRASS BAND

At BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

With Prizes from the Oxfam Shop, IMPACT COMICS, Mind Games,

Smiths Alternative Bookshop or store, and GORMAN HOUSE MARKETS

Be there

Remember YOUR WORDS, no music, no props, original material, 2 minutes, you, a microphone, an audience, five judges, you, two MCs, one Score Adder, and THE MASTER OF CONFLICT AND YOU!

The Phoenix, 730pm sign-up!

BE THERE

YOU BE THERE

Showcase of Canberra people who like to SHOUT poems into microphones

2011-12-07T23:20:00.014+11:00

Louise

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and Cannibal Kittens presents at the Phoenix, on 27 November 2011, featured: Sparkles, Skip, Raphael Tiberius Kabo, Julian Fleetwood, and Josh Inmania.

The Flying V.

And had special guest appearances by: Aaron K., Louise, Bela Farkas, and Varisht aka The Flying V.

A recording will be out in the New Year.

Aaron K.

The recording will be attached to a zine.

(All photos by Adam Thomas)

Poem not travelator

2011-12-02T20:12:00.005+11:00

Verity la goes to the top of the escalator for
the upstairs food court.
The upstairs food court can also be arrived at via stairs.

In other news:

A new species of frog, the Pilbara toadlet (Uperoleia saxatilis), has been found in Australia.

Zine-in-a-Matchbox

2011-11-14T20:53:00.004+11:00

Check out the Lavender Room Zine-in-a-Matchbox Issue 8

Zine-in-a-Matchbox Issue 8

The zine includes all these people:

Natasha L Adams / Alana Brekelmans / Sally Browne / Amanda Coghlan / Jason Darling / Connor Dee / Bruce Dorlova / Emma Farry / Andrew Galan / Joy Green / Hadley / Matt Hetherington / Sasha Jessop / Carmen Keates / Mai Lin Li / Chris Lynch / Corrie Macdonald / Vern Mitchell / Graham Nunn / mr oCean / Andrew Phillips / Jacob Polley / Doug Poole / David Prater / Tessa Rose / Nathan Shepherdson / Dawn Joy Silversides / David Stavanger / Michael D Tees / Bianca Walsh / emily xyz

I am in that list.

Buy the zine here and check out the Lavender Room on facebook here.

This is the Whale Galaxy, also known as Caldwell 32 or NGC 4631.

NGC 4631 courtesy of the Hubble Telescope

The Best Australian Poems 2011

2011-11-12T05:56:00.002+11:00

The front cover

You should find The Best Australian Poems 2011 because the only pub inside is the Phoenix Pub in Canberra. Once you have it take it to that pub. At the pub drink cider/beer while yelling/mumbling at the poems you don't like and yelling/mumbling the ones you do. Spill cider/beer all-over the book. Yell/mumble your own poems at the guy next to you. Have a guy recommend a rye/whiskey/rum. Offer your opinion on the rye/whiskey/rum. Get yelled at that he DOESN'T WANT YOUR FUCKING OPINION ON THE RYE/WHISKEY/RUM. You’ve lost the book. Yell/mumble more. Also I have a poem in there.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

2011-11-04T08:32:00.003+11:00

What can we say?

IT IS BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! TIME

Which means you get an audience a microphone five judges two MCs a MASTER OF CONFLICT a Score Adder a stage a pub with alcohol two minutes AND THE CHANCE TO IGNORE PUNCTUATION!

FOR PRIZES!

Now in the past BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! has attempted to subtly woo its audiences

Like a Canadian poet creatively waving arms about while crying

Or a United Statesian poet hitting the same note over and over and over and over and over

Or an Austrian poet in a stupid hat

Or an Australian

BUT THIS TIME WE HAVE THROWN SUBTLETY OUT THE WINDOW:

CYA sub

tle

(SPLATT!)

TO BRING YOU THE LATEST EDITION OF BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

Which means prizes

For poetry

PRIZES: FROM IMPACT COMICS MIND GAMES SMITHS ALTERNATIVE BOOKSTORE GORMAN HOUSE MARKETS OXFAM SHOP AND THE SIDE OF THE ROAD TO SOMEWHERE ELSE BUT THAT WE GOT TURNED ABOUT ON.

It is all about the prizes

And we have a feature act:

YOU MAY HAVE READ HER POETRY WHILE YOU SAT ON AN ACTION BUS

You may have heard her at the poetry night that calls itself a slam

YOU MAY HAVE HEARD HER AT BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! THAT IS A SLAM

Now hear her at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! before she goes to the Australian Poetry Slam final, our feature act of poetry on stage:

MIRANDA LELLO

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 730pm at the Phoenix sign-up for words for judging for prizes for yelling sign-up

And remember no props no music original material and two minutes.

Another poet on stage

2011-11-03T11:28:00.007+11:00

A new mobile venue, Scissorspaperpen, is starting up in Canberra.

The opening night is at the Phoenix on 10 November.

The stated aim of the venue is to bring together music, words and stuff from across the Can and interstate.

I will be performing a set of poetry. Also on the bill are musicians Drew Walky and Gemma Nourse.

Come along, it is free, there will be words and music and at the Phoenix you can drink.

Meanwhile in space there are stars, poets already write about stars so don’t encourage them to write more.

NGC 7380: The Wizard Nebula

Australian poet to have words published in Australia

2011-10-23T09:50:00.002+11:00

I have a poem due out in November with The Best Australian Poems 2011. The annual anthology is this year edited by John Tranter. He writes of his selections: ‘What a rich, strange and diverse lot these poems turned out to be … I suspect that these baroque and potent imaginings can only have come into existence as fragments of dreams or nightmares.’

Jill Jones writes about the mix of writers appearing in this year’s anthology on her blog Ruby Street, there she puts forward that the anthology ‘picks up on work that has either been published overseas or was fresh but unpublished’ and that ‘online international venues are often where the more interesting work is being featured’ and that Australia-based poets are now not so parochial and the anthology will represent this.

The Suns Fall at Zero, first published by The Delinquent in the United Kingdom, will be in the anthology and I look forward to reading the poems it will be alongside.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 19 October

2011-10-14T09:56:00.000+11:00

THIS IS THE OCTOBER TWENTY-ELEVEN INSTALMENT OF BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

And while my car doesn’t fly, in fact it doesn’t even move anymore, and I still have to eat my caramel space food sticks on earth because I am not a billionaire

THIS IS THE FUTURE!

And in this future we give you a microphone, 2 minutes, a Score Adder and Time Keeper, an audience, A MASTER OF CONFLICT, five judges, a stage, and a pub full of beer, whiskey, cider and rye, and two MCs

ALL SO YOU CAN GIVE US YOUR WORDS.

BECAUSE THIS IS A POETRY SLAM, WITH PRIZES!

‘cause glory is not enough this month we have prizes from:

Impact Comics

Mind Games

Smiths Alternative Bookstore

Anything someone gives us to give away and the Master of Conflict does not successfully steal

Whatever we find going cheap outside the fruit and vege shop

And stuff from our newest sponsor, THE OXFAM SHOP!

YES YOU READ CORRECT, INSTEAD OF BUYING THINGS FROM THE OXFAM SHOP SO CHILDREN IN DEVELOPING COUNTRIES CAN GROW CROPS AND GO TO SCHOOL YOU CAN WIN IT

FOR FREE.

Thanks Oxfam Shop.

Now we know it is all about the prizes but stay with us because this month

we bring you a feature act of POETRY

but not just any PERFORMER of POETRY

not just any WORDS of POETRY PERFORMANCE

not just some poet whose mum told him he was special too much or not enough and he believed it

This performer is one of the founders of performance poetry and slam in Australia

He has featured at the Brisbane Writers, Sydney Writers, Byron Bay Writers, Tasmanian Poetry, Broken Hill Poetry, Woodford Folk, and QLD Poetry Festivals

This poet is the unholy ghost of Iggy Pop and Marc Kelly Smith (so what!!)

He has featured at the birthplace of slam, the Green Mill in Chicago, and where one mid-wife of slam hangs-out, the Bowery Poetry Club in New York

This spoken word artist is Ghostboy

And Ghostboy is Spoken Weird.

So be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 730pm at the Phoenix, sign-up for words, sign-up for judging, sign-up for prizes, sign-up for yelling, sign-up.

And remember no props, no music, original material and 2 minutes.

THIS IS THE FUTURE!

The ABC recording of Where is the Werewolf?

2011-10-09T12:29:00.004+11:00

My poem Where is the Werewolf? was recorded for the ABC podcast CanberrArts: Take 11 by Melanie Tait.

I was very excited about this recording as Melanie has previously recorded four of my favourite Canberra performers for the ABC podcasts: Adam Hadley, The Ellis Collective, Alison McGregor and Nigel McRae.

Melanie asked for recommendations for other poets, I recommended Anthony Hayes and Ryan Schipper. Hopefully they appear in future podcasts.

On the podcast the poem is titled Where is the Wealth? it must be my Central Coast of New South Wales accent.

You can find Where is the Werewolf? published at Verity La.

Words @ Verity La

2011-10-05T03:35:00.002+11:00

Verity La has published Duck Part 2.

As they say: “Whether it’s fiction, poetry, comment or review, we want high-quality text, and by ‘high-quality’ we mean thoughtfully composed, a focus on words, words with impact.”

So I like that Duck Part 2 follows Where is the Werewolf? and The Mother Poem into their creative arts journal.

And in other news the Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer (WISE) satellite allows us to see the Universe.

A view of the spiral Andromeda Galaxy
built from a mosaic of images from WISE

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 21 September

2011-09-16T09:32:00.004+10:00

Welcome to the invitation to the next instalment of BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is where we bring you a stage, a microphone, two minutes, a ding stating Score Adder, an audience, five judges and a Master of Conflict, all so you can YELL, whisper, talk normally, tell us about your day and/or but not restricted to also read love letters, haiku, bush ballads and or tales of ninjas.

FOR PRIZES

Yes you can win prizes from Impact Comics, Mind Games, Smiths Alternative Bookshop and what-ever else people donate to us to give to you.

AND YOUR MCs WILL FIGHT THE MASTER OF CONFLICT ANY DAY TO ENSURE YOU GET THOSE PRIZES.

Anyway, BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is the poetry slam of Canberra and this month we bring you:

Pascalle Burton

Pascalle is an avant-garde performance-poet musician whose experiments and maneuvers with words and sound will make you too want to perform words and sounds, yes, they will.

Pascalle has won the Queensland Poetry Festival and Woodford Folk Festival Slams, her debut poetry collection, A Vast Laugh, has been released through Small Change Press and her The Lavender Room art has been nominated for the coveted Golden Stapler Awards.

YOU SHOULD BE AT BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! FOR HER PERFORMANCE, Yes, you should.

And because we want to smash you with stuff while you are also doing things to us with your words at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! we also bring you:

The Stress of Leisure

One reviewer of a Stress of Leisure live gig said that the Stress of Leisure put him at the bar with a fistful of coin for a restorative beer! And at Another Lost Shark the Stress of Leisure actually ate the reviewer with the pop-goodness of their album Hour to Hour, chomp, chomp while they sat in the summer back-yard getting a bit of the romance on. Who doesn’t want to drink beer during summer and get the romance on in the back-yard while eating sharks?

YOU SHOULD BE AT BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! FOR The Stress of Leisure, yes, you should.

Got all that? You should be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! with your words, with your judging socks on to judge poetry, or judge judges judging poetry or judge audiences judging audiences judging judges judging poetry. ALL FOR POETRY ‘CAUSE RHYME IS THE REAL WINNER. Or was that poetry? I don’t know, where am I? is it too early to say I love you? so be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 730pm, original words, no props, no music, two minutes, judges, prizes, whiskey, back-yards, sonnets, the Stress of Leisure, Pascalle Burton, at the Phoenix Pub.

And remember to remember not what a diphthong is but what it can do for you.

Words published at and by Verity La

2011-09-03T11:02:00.006+10:00

Eat this; go to bed; go to school; where have you been? What have you been doing?

My mum always loved me enough not to harass me.

So love me too and check out: Where is the Werewolf?

Published online by the online creative arts journal Verity La on their website that is called Verity La.

At 4am Eastern Daylight Time on 22 August 1989 Voyager 2 took this image of Triton

Guaranteed to include at least one dog, the Delinquent Issue 15 out now

2011-08-13T07:29:00.000+10:00

Join me in space and the upstairs food court, next to the fish world baine-maries, by buying number 15 of the Delinquent Magazine. It is full of words. This issue I have become the descendant of a prominent Roman (of Greek ethnicity) physician, surgeon and philosopher.

Buy Issue 15 of the Delinquent Magazine.

It includes:

Darren Millard, Pascal O’Loughlin, Rob Stuart, G David Schwartz, Joe Dresner, Nick Bridson Baker, Patrick Sugrue, Dill Darling, C. S. Fuqua, Clive Birnie, Andrew Smith, Natasha Carthew, C. Jak Mussington, Matt Dennison, Duncan Jones, Ray Blake, Wendy Jane Muzlanova, Ahimsa Timoteo Bodhrán, Jen Campbell, Alan Price, Steven Earnshaw, Jim Higo, J. J. Steinfeld, Jeremy Quinn, Philip Loyd, Denny E. Marshall, David Porter, Tom Wingfield, N. A’Yara Stein, Steven Loton, Augustine Cerf, Adele Geraghty, Ellie Samuels, Jake David, Timothy James Earl, Lance Nizami, Jeffrey C. Alfier, Jason King, Chris Guidon, Rob E. Cole, Regina C. Green, David Mac, Carys Bray, Charles Portolano, Dennis Mahagin, Andrew Galen, Juli Jana, Jim Bennett, Collin Grabarek, Roger Turner, Laura Carter, Jude Dillon, Dave Migman, Christopher Oie Keller, Ken Champion, Alex Howard, B. R. Bonner, Franz K. Baskett, Brooke Persich, Rick Henry, David Lewitzky, Kathy Ewing, Gary Beck, Tyler Bigney, Raymond Antrobus, Shean Tan, Frank C. Praeger, John Brantingham, Paul Murphy, Pauline Suwanban, Charles Pitter, and Simon Howells.

The Delinquent Magazine

Meet DARPA's Hypersonic glider

The Poetry Slam at the Phoenix in Canberra is BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! on Wednesday 17 August. With special guest STACKHAT.

2011-08-04T10:54:00.002+10:00

Poster by Anne Lander.

Words published at Verity La

2011-07-29T15:02:00.000+10:00

First performed at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

you too can now take this poem home for your mother, thanks to Verity La.

The Mother Poem

A Supermassive Black Hole

Support poetry.

Words in streetcake magazine issue 18

2011-07-28T04:11:00.004+10:00

You too can be The Dark Horse of Poetry.

Check out issue 18 of streetcake magazine with words by: lucy burns, mark cobley, alessandro cusimano, michael pedersen, steve toase, peter wyton and me. There is also specially added art by joe ruddock.

Streetcake Magazine issue 18

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 1930Hours on Wednesday 17 August

2011-07-27T07:08:00.000+10:00

THE ALL NEW BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! BRINGS YOU WORDS!

and a stage, 2 minutes, a microphone, the Master of Conflict,

an audience, five judges, at least three first prizes and two MCs

And puts all that in a pub with cider, beer, whiskey and all kinds of other alcohol

Why?

So you can drink and perform words and listen to words

and JUDGE or BE JUDGED!

AND WIN!

Now because BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is poetry slam

YES THAT’S CORRECT WITHOUT AN “a”

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! brings you dance!

Yes that’s correct, dance.

Because this dancer is described as

“a master class in elegance and poise”

and

“a truly inspiring dancer”

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! brings you the fusion bellydance artiste

Fifi Noir

And because mesmerising you with dance is not enough, BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! also brings you:

Stackhat

Self-described as uber-brutal psychedelic goth-hop OR fucked up music, for fucked up people, Stackhat lists Jeff Buckley(?) as an influence, the question mark meaning yes Jeff Buckley was run-over by a passing overhead speedboat that was playing Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.

CHOP, CHOP!

730pm sign-up, words start at 8pm, join your host Jacinta, Andrew Galan, the Score Adder and the Master of Conflict at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

No music, no props, original material, 2 minutes, did I forget anything?

Words forthcoming in streetcake magazine and Verity La, in other news: people are in space!

2011-07-25T14:10:00.004+10:00

Verity La and streetcake magazine are publishing poems by me.

Issue 18 of streetcake magazine will have one poem, before then checkout streetcake magazine issue 17.

Over the coming weeks Verity La will be publishing five poems. Until then read Potential Band Names by Finnigan and Brother.

These people are in space, which is awesome.

Poems forthcoming in The Delinquent Magazine Issue Fifteen

2011-07-18T21:45:00.001+10:00

August is double poem month, all in Issue 15 of The Delinquent Magazine.

If I'd sold my Grandma I’d buy her back.

Now Marvel at this picture of an Oltec Merchant who offers to help your people.

Now read below for another great collection of acceptance words.

“The theme to this issue’s acceptance letter is IDENTITY, or what makes you you. So expect references to your municipal swimming baths, and local cafes, and other amenities, paeans and peonies.

Understandably, tailoring our messages with pungent local landmark spices will take a little time. But it is an undertaking we are more than willing to shoulder, because we want to know more and more and more about the leaky roofs and raging hormones that make you all so special. We have enlisted the services of a few hundred recently unemployed journalists to make this happen (with a few Met officers thrown in for free).

In the meantime, while we gather the dirt, we are pleased to tell you that we will be printing “Spaceship Twangdog” and “The baine-maries” in issue 15 of the delinquent.

Home is where the heart is.”

What’s an Oltec Merchant?

I can hear you ask.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 20 July

2011-07-18T16:25:00.004+10:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is your every Third Wednesday of the Month POETRY SLAM!

At the Phoenix

Bring words, elastic, moments, arm waving, whispering, chanting, the grand potato and your uncle to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at 730pm.

And this month because he doesn’t have to fly on a dead zebra we bring you:

JULIAN FLEETWOOD

He’s a poet from Canberra and currently the writer in residence at the Front, which means they have to give him free coffee. AND FREE COFFEE IS AWESOME! If you ever go to the Front and Julian Fleetwood is there hit him up FOR FREE COFFEE! And make him perform a poem too!

And because we are the greatest slam in the world we bring you:

BRASS’ERE

That’s correct, Brass’ere

They’re a brass band. AND BRASS BANDS ARE AWESOME!

They have brass instruments and can play them and will be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! playing them.

For those who have no idea what any of this is about:

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! gives you a microphone, a stage, an audience, five judges, prizes, many prizes, two MCs, two minutes, the Score Adder and THE MASTER OF CONFLICT. All in a pub so you can drink alcohol!

So join your hosts Andrew Galan, Jacinta, the Master of Conflict and the Guest Score Adder for BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

NO MUSIC, NO PROPS, 2 MINUTES, YOUR ORIGINAL MATERIAL!

7:30PM The Phoenix, East Row, Canberra.

(P.S. The poster is awesome, thanks Anne Lander.)

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 20 July

2011-07-03T08:52:00.001+10:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 15 June

2011-06-11T07:47:00.000+10:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

The Fifth Instalment of the Fourth Quadrilogy of the Eighth Trilogy brings you BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a poetry slam.

And as the Queen says,

“Have you been playing a long time?”

And we say “yes”

And she says

“It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained.”

And we say “Yes!”

Then she says

“Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.”

Then we get bored as she rabbits on some more and we all fall asleep.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

HAS TWO MICROPHONES, AN AUDIENCE, FIVE JUDGES, THE MASTER OF CONFLICT, A SOUND SYSTEM, AN AUDIENCE, 2 MINUTES, AND MORE AUDIENCE, ALL FOR YOU TO GIVE US YOUR WORDS FOR PRIZES, YES ALL FOR YOU! FOR PRIZES!!

So bring your words, your dramatically choreographed hand movements, your hats and waist coats, your minority reports and thigh high boots, as well as your Duke of Edinburgh to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

This month because having the Queen is not enough we bring you

AVATRON

YES AVATRON

According to AVATRON Avatron were discovered on a swamp planet and they are recovering.

WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT LISTEN TO THE LAST TRACK CALLED “UNLISTENABLE” it is not unlistenable but you will regret listening.

Confused? Us too, if you listen to Paul they were all on drugs, George says they just had a cigarette, but he’s dead and someone will no doubt try and make you listen to all their albums in order as some kind of educational process that they think you need but didn't ask for, well I went to school so shut-up Grandpa.

JOIN YOUR HOSTS JACINTA, ANDREW GALAN, THE MASTER OF CONFLICT AND GUEST JUDGE SELECTOR SCORER ADDER AND REMEMBERERERER OF IMPORTANT THINGS BELA FARKAS FOR BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!!

NO MUSIC, NO PROPS, 2 MINUTES, YOUR ORIGINAL MATERIAL!

7:30PM The Phoenix, East Row, Canberra.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix 18 May with Pablo Latona, Josh Inmania and Poets

2011-05-20T08:31:00.004+10:00

A BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUITER!

Victory was victorious on Wednesday night as more 1st place winners than BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! can remember walked out the door with free vegetarian things from Gorman House Markets, Harriett with her Humongous Gun and a calendar from Mind Games and Impact comics, a free crappy book from Smiths Alternative Bookshop if they force their poem upon someone in Smiths Alternative Bookshop, and a treasure trove of Easter Eggs in preparation for that looming holiday of horror known as the Queen‘s Birthday.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at the Phoenix

Thanks judges, audience, slammers, the Phoenix, the RiotACT, shops that give us their junk and thanks feature acts Pablo Latona and Josh Inmania, next month all our feature acts will have last names that end in the letter B.

Josh Inmania eating babies

The Ghost of the Gorman House Man Hatin’ Matron Poetry Open Mic With-out a Microphone but with a Milk Crate on Saturday 15 May at Gorman House Markets

2011-05-15T11:27:00.014+10:00

The first ever The Ghost of the Gorman House Man Hatin’ Matron Poetry Open Mic With-out a Microphone but with a Milk Crate was a success.

Hosted by poets Josh Inmania* and Andrew Galan the Winter Sun saw Sarah and Farah along with Anthony Hayes take to the open mic milk crate and perform several pieces to a comfortable crowd at the second Saturday of May Gorman House Markets.

As well as providing a relaxed and open poetry forum for anybody to take to the milk crate the day provides an opportunity for people to take in some words from two Canberra feature poets and with the support of Gorman House Markets we brought to the milk crate two Canberra poets.

Benjo Keaney somewhere else

One was veteran poet Benjo Keaney, who has been performing around Canberra for at least 25 000 years. On and around the milk crate he performed a poetry set heavily influenced by his gathering of moss, the history of bogon moths, and the impact of Elizabeth Taylor over and over without a seatbelt.

A tiny photo of Senior Kabo

The day also featured Senior Kabo, one of Canberra’s newest poets who represented the Australian Capital Territory and BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! at the 2010 Australian Poetry Slam Finals in Sydney. Senior Kabo is obsessed with your mother and trains and he delivered a collection of shorts stories and very short poems to that effect for a responsive Gorman House audience over the course of the afternoon.

With the support of the Markets, the Ghost of the Gorman House Man Hatin’ Matron Poetry Open Mic With-out a Microphone but with a Milk Crate will bring you a duo of Canberra poets every second Saturday of the month, along with providing the milk crate and space necessary for anyone with something to say to come along and under blue or clouded skies tell us something, intelligible, unintelligible or not intelligible.

The Ghost of the Gorman House Man Hatin’ Matron Poetry Open Mic With-out a Microphone but with a Milk Crate hopes to see you at Gorman House Markets on 12 June and every second Saturday of the month there-after.

Elizabeth Taylor without a seatbelt

*Josh Inmania insists on telling people he is a performance poet, for whatever reason I cannot fathom; to me he will always be a poet.

The Tragic Troubadours at the 2011 Australian National Folk Festival

2011-05-09T06:38:00.002+10:00

With some time to reflect on the Tragic Troubadours at the National Folk Festival I think it was our best gig yet, despite freezing temperatures we performed nightly for two hours to the lines that formed outside the Majestic and on Saturday night to a crowd inside the venue who wanted blood.

We had a diverse group of interesting poems between the four of us, Skip with minimalist Mafiosi, Josh with comic serial killers, Bela with homicidal Muppet and Bogan love poems, me with my surrealist alcoholic words, and we had an especially animal filled Gorilla play written by Bela which was a great group piece that got an awesome crowd response.

Hinging who delivered their piece based on the choice of concept by one person in the line worked well as many people got excited about choosing with others in the crowd attempting to jump in with their choice. The crowds favoured the mafia some nights, love poems, alcoholics and serial killers others and the play got a good workout.

We did not costume for the gig outside the tent and while a few people have advised we should I enjoyed the aspect of coming out of the crowd looking like Folkie punters, delivering our act to a chunk of the line then vanishing back into the milieu, this also worked well with some people thinking it was our attempt to cut-in on the line and so giving us a go before deciding to let us in or not while others even stayed outside the venue letting others go ahead so they could hear out our performance of the Richard play. We also had two girls come and find us so they could return the entertainment by performing a song for us.

Bela, Skip and Andrew

The act on the Majestic main-stage also worked well, the crowd was only there for faux gypsy band the Askew Wing of Milo* and so when Bela charged the stage to heckle with love poems shortly after we started a Richard play to a bemused crowd people didn’t know if they wanted to support him in his attack on us or beat him up. He had blended into the crowd dressed in his Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi sombrero and wife beater during the band we were due to follow, where he looked totally out of place groovin’, and interrupted our play at two crucial points with examples of a love poem and love advice. The crowd ended up divided between those who supported his impromptu crashing of our play and those who wanted to hear the play. No doubt people cottoned on to what was occurring as how does a heckler get a microphone? But it happened fast enough that probably not many put it together as the act was happening.

Thanks to the Majestic at the National Folk Festival for having the Tragic Troubadours, the venue rocked with Gypsy, Circus and Spoken Word goodness.

*We actually performed between the Crooked Fiddle Band and Flap, both awesome bands; I just think there is room in the Universe for a faux gypsy band called the Askew Wing of Milo.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 18 May

2011-04-29T12:53:00.003+10:00

MAN FORCED TO EAT BEARD

Having survived the arrival and departure of Power Girl and a tired looking Superman BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is back for another May edition of POETRY.

Yes another MAY edition

And yes,

POETRY.

That means we want your words on the stage at the Phoenix for TWO WHOLE MINUTES, or less.

It doesn’t actually have to be poetry;

we won’t judge what it is or what it is worth.

That’s why we have judges.

Words on stage, your words, that’s what we want.

So bring your beards to

the MAY edition of Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! featuring:

JOSH INMANIA

He’s a poet!

And the ambulations of

PABLO!

He’s an entertainer specatculair (that’s French)

So for glory, kransky, action figures, gift vouchers, crappy books, maybe carrots, the MASTER OF CONFLICT, the SCORE ADDER and a chance to tell it how you see it and hopefully leave us all confused and none-the-wiser about how you tried to make us eat your underwear, join us for BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!.

THAT IS BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! AT THE PHOENIX

730pm sign-up, words start at 8pm, four or more first prizes, no props – which means Wheet Bix and custard on stage disqualify you! – an audience for you, no music, judges for your drinking pleasure and two minutes of original material by you on stage!

Two new zines from Zine Empire - A One Act Play: The Chicken Man Stand By Witch Ghost, and The Chicken Poem

2011-04-17T09:03:00.004+10:00

Zine Empire published two new zines for the ACT Writers Centre and Canberra Contemporary Art Space zine fair on 9 April

The Cover to A One Act Play: The Chicken Man Stand
by Witch Ghost

The cover to The Chicken Poem,
including art by Anne Lander
and Paul Summerfield, words by Andrew Galan

If you want your work published by Zine Empire then email

zineempireATgmaildotcomdotau

These zines plus other randomly selected Zine Empire publications have also been sent to randomly selected Zine Distributors that do not make you go through a selective submission process

Canberra Roller Derby League, 2 April 2011, the Surly Griffins versus the Black n Blue Belles @ the Southern Cross Stadium

2011-04-13T18:48:00.013+10:00

The Surly Griffins win 150 to the Black n Blue Belles’ 132 in a bout that starred performances from the B‘s newest Wrecker, 1^st, and newest jammer, Prairie Scorn. Amidst strong Griffin defence and offence 1^st head-on out-jammed veteran Griffin Amykazeee (who looked to need a cuppa and a lie-down) but also smashed Griffins, which is what you want at Derby, good jam and smashing. A jam from 0+ capitalised on Griffins distracted by Amykazeee’s calls for help, help, but B defense couldn’t intercept the Griffin’s Aunty Aggro, Rainbow Spite or Cassatrophic who all made up for Amykazeee. The Bs also missed opportunities to keep Griffins binned, the Bs lacked a rolling Cleaver, Short Stop looked distracted then exhausted, Jam Pants stoic efforts didn’t gain enough, and the Bs didn’t exploit Amykazeee’s skating weakness, all this left the Surly Griffins to win by 18 points.

Where are you Cleaver?

The Delinquent Issue 14 out now.

2011-04-12T18:03:00.009+10:00

Support poetry and buy a copy, $5.29 for the print version $1.50 to download a copy.

The Delinquent Issue 14

With words and art by all these people:

Anne Blonstein, Peter LaBerge, Richard Tyrone Jones, Alan Price, Hicham Bensassi, Andrew Pidoux, Graham Buchan, DP Jones, Gareth Strachan, Nick Bridson Baker, Amit Parmessur, M. A. Schaffner, Deborah L. Gordon, Duncan Jones, Mark Antony Owen, Stephen Devereux, Paul Norcross, Geoffrey Loe, Adam Moorad, Ray Blake, Rich Ives, Valentina Cano, Beth Jellicoe, Austin Rory Hackett, John Sibley Williams, Peter Ebsworth, Carlo Taylor, Jeremy Quinn, Timothy James Earl, Brooke Persich, Henry Blake, Robert Marsland, Carl Palmer, Steve Loton, Lisa Kelly, Zin Kenter, John Thake, Tim Frank, Andrew Smith, W Oleson, Michael Pedersen, Richard Halperin, Peter Leahy, Ricky Garni, Mark Floyer, Jim Davis, KJ Moore, David Mac, Paul Birtill, Norman Staines, Charles Pitter, Robert McClure, Jason King, Bart Sonck, Steve Taylor, Alex Mahoney, Andrew Galan, Tomás Browne, Bruce Lader, Dan Piorkowski, Jim Meirose, RL Greenfield, David S. Pointer, Adam Flint, Thomas Pescatore, N. A’Yara Stein, Zoe Warren, Amy Schreibman Walter, Mel Fawcett, Christos Sakellarios, Chris Guidon, Ken Champion, Rehan Qayoom, and a cover by Denny E. Marshall.

You know you want to know them, plus I am in that list.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 20 April

2011-04-09T05:10:00.001+10:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

The birthday edition

YES, you read right, THE BIRTHDAY EDITION.

In April we celebrate the birthdays of Emperor Go-Saga of Japan, Ludwig IV of Baveria who was a Roman Catholic Bavarian emperor, William Harvey an English physician and Charles de Saint-Évremond who was a French soldier!

Why?

‘Cause it is the BIRTHDAY EDITION OF BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and Georg Mohr a Danish mathematician has his birthday in April too.

Now celebrating all those old guys birthdays may be AWEsome, but because we like to be more AWEsome than awesome we also bring you two feature acts:

Matt Hetherington
Now you may be thinking who is this Matt Hetherington?
he isn’t from ‘round these parts
(these parts being Canberra)
WELL HE IS A POET!
AND HE DID LIVE IN CANBERRA!

And because one feature act is not enough we bring you

Drew Walky,
who can play music on his guitar and sing at the same time!

Now for those that have got this far but are baffled about what this BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is all about
BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is a poetry slam,
that means we want your words on the Phoenix stage for TWO MINUTES for prizes, prizes donated by Impact Comics, Mind Games, Smiths Alternative Bookshop, Really Really Cheap stuff we find or AWEsome things people give us.

So TWO MINUTES.
And original material
And five judges
A Master of Conflict
A Score Adder
A microphone
WE WANT YOU
to perform
to judge
to drink
AND WIN PRIZES FOR YOUR AWE SOME WORDS.

So be at the PHOENIX at 730pm to sign up and perform your words,
to sign up to judge someone’s words,
to drink, to yell, to listen to people’s spoken words.
I think I am repeating myself, WHERE'S MY COFFEE!
And no props or music.
And remember it is also Clint Howards’ birthday, he is brother to Ron!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 20 April

2011-04-07T06:35:00.000+10:00

Words Forthcoming in the Delinquent Issue 14

2011-04-01T07:37:00.009+11:00

The best acceptance letters.

"Good work as ever! We’re pleased to say we’ll be printing “My concept is: Homage” and “The suns fall at zero” in issue 14 of the delinquent.

Congratulations!

Air Raid - Josef Čapek

After a brief reorientation course, followed by a medical, social networks and so on, you’ll remember that here at the delinquent we pride ourselves on a mind-melding, collegiate, dynamic and motivated team-building, combined with innovative text-based solutions.

Please study your copies of the staff handbook, staff codebook and staff jokebook. Presentation skills and core competencies must be available for inspection at all times.

Etc.

Multi-disciplinary ethos.

& esteemed officers of assurance.

We were greatly impressed with your comportment, deportment, aplomb, and we hope you’ll continue to send us your work."

"My concept is: Homage" as inspired by, and translated by, Tomás Browne. Tomás is a genius poet from Chile who may be working in the garden outside your house as you read this.

Training Your Recycled Energetic Doctor

2011-04-01T07:19:00.005+11:00

Location:

Navy Support Facility ----- ------

----- ------ BIOT, ------ Archipelago.

What do they do there?

Space Travel Experimentation and Development Site:

Worm Hole Technology – Portable and Fixed

Space Travel by Nuclear and Thermonuclear Detonation

Space Bending Travel

Space Mind Travel

Zombification Longevity Project

Non-corporeal Project

The Mind into Matter Project

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 16 March

2011-03-06T15:48:00.002+11:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM Wednesday 16 February

2011-02-09T02:10:00.002+11:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! brings you a February instalment of BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! which means YOU GET a microphone, cider in a pint glass if you want it, a stage, an audience, five judges, prizes, whiskey in a smaller glass if you want it, along with two MCs, two minutes, the Score Adder, beer in pint glasses if you want that too, plus a Sound Guy and THE MASTER OF CONFLICT.

ALL SO WE CAN HEAR YOUR POETRY!

ALL SO YOU CAN WIN PRIZES WITH YOUR POETRY!!

And in addition to bringing a stage to the Phoenix for you this month we bring to the stage two feature acts:

The actor, writer and occasional director to SURPRISE YOU

Alison McGregor

And

The folk, roots, soul ballading into upbeat Jazz, Rock, and Reggae tuned

Beth’N’beN

YOUR WORDS, WE WANT THEM!

YOU COULD WIN!

The Master of Conflict will be as arbitrary as is necessary

So be at the Phoenix 730pm for 8pm start, four first prizes, no props, original material!

The picture is of "Jim with Nunchaku" by Benjamin A. English!

Thanks Benjamin A. English!

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 730PM on 16 February @ The Phoenix

2011-02-07T22:28:00.000+11:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 730PM on 19 January 2011

2011-01-14T22:45:00.001+11:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is POETRY SLAMMING on Wednesday 19 January @ The Phoenix

2011-01-07T17:44:00.003+11:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! on the third Wednesday of every month.
A POETRY SLAM, that’s what BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is
And it gives you an audience, prizes, judges, a MASTER OF CONFLICT, a microphone, a pub for beer, more prizes AND 2 MINUTES to give us YOUR WORDS!

For glory, for the chance to say what you want to say at a bunch of people, for your public speaking practice, FOR PRIZES.
That’s right BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! is back for 2011

WHO’D ‘AVE THUNK WE’D MAKE IT!?

So bring your words, chicken scratchings, Tanka that you say twice, drunk ramblings, the poem to your boyfriend, the poem to the neighbour, the one you made by gluing cuttings from the NEWSPAPER WHILE WEARING RUBBER GLOVES or your 2 minute Iliad to BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

THIS MONTH WE FEATURE THE MAN AND HIS GUITAR,
The man who will make up songs on the spot with your words
The man who will resist the urge to wrestle the entire pub to the ground
WHILE MAKING UP THE SONG IN HIS HEAD

NICK D.

AND BECAUSE ONE FEATURE ACT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR A BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! AUDIENCE

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! has demanded the return of
The Man who stared down the BAR KEEP’s bluff
The man who wrote the idiot’s guide to FREE WILLY the poem

POET SKIP SKIPSTER SKIPINATOR

So be at the PHOENIX at 730pm to sign up and perform your words,
to sign up to judge someone’s words,
to drink, to yell, to listen to people’s spoken words,
for our feature acts NIC D. and SKIP
to win prizes from IMPACT COMICS, MIND GAMES, FARMER GED and GORMAN HOUSE WHO HAVE PROMISED NOT JUST KRANSKY BUT VEGETARIAN PRIZES TOO!

Remember three first prizes, no props, an audience, no music, judges, original material and 2 minutes!

KATZENJAMMER @ Parlour, the Woodford Folk Festival, 31 DECEMBER 2010 to 1 JANUARY 2011

2011-01-04T04:33:00.002+11:00

The storm broke briefly over Woodford for KATZENJAMMER to take those with luck or sense through midnight into 2011. Could you be beat to channel David Byrne’s step to the sound KATZENJAMMER brought into Parlour at midnight? Probably and that means you can dance and dance and everyone did to KATZENJAMMER; except for one large hairy guy, captivated.
About him the dance floor, packing, jumped to the audience welcome for authenticity, authenticity wrapped in the cloth of styles that other bands take one life at a time. And Old Man Luedecke stood enthralled. Then, through the lost train of thought came the bugle call and Viking Princesses battled for no reason other than the beauty of chopping each other to bits. KATZENJAMMER: see them, listen to them, hope they visit your town, play your favourite venue and eat all the food out of your fridge.

Words in a magazine

2010-12-13T22:10:00.002+11:00

Issue 13 of the Delinquent magazine includes all these writers and artists:

Brian Forrest, David Mac, Tray Drumhann, Ray Blake, Kimberly Bridson, Hobie Anthony, Brendan McBreen, Carl-Henrik Björck, Howie Good, T. P. Mooney, Tabitha Vidaurri, Robert McClure, winnie chau, Paul McDonald, Lisa Kelly, Jennie Cole, Clive Birnie, Patrick Woodcock, Kevin Heaton, Shean Tan, David Toms, Deborah Gordon, Carmina Masoliver-Marlow, John Clarke, David Kowalczyk, Geoffrey Loe, Ken Champion, R. Beck, Rishi Dastidar, Devreaux Baker, Peter Cox, Hank Kirton, Nicole Kuwik, Liz Bentley, Calum Kerr, Chris Guidon, Peycho Kanev, Sean Burn, Andrew Galan, Chris Clarke, Ryan Kelly, Richard Halperin, Nia A’Yara Stein, Emma Hammond, Charles Pitter, Jim Heavily, Katerina Prudchenko, Zoe Warren, Frank C. Praeger, Laura Madeline Wiseman, David Tomaloff, Max Dunbar, Geoff Stevens, Mark Goodwin, Ben McFarlane, Ted Jean, Dave Migman, Derek Adams, Mike Wendling, Sarah Sibley, John Thake, Joel Scarfe, Paul Norcross, Ian Mole, Nick Bridson Baker, Martyn Conterio, Natascha Tallowin, Christopher Barnes, B. D. Fischer, and Rehan Qayoom.

WHO ARE ALL THOSE PEOPLE?

BUY IT, FIND OUT!

AND I AM IN THAT LIST. RAD FOR ME.

THE DELINQUENT magazine ISSUE 13.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, Canberra, 730PM on 14 December 2010

2010-12-06T21:08:00.003+11:00

JUST IN TIME FOR THE COMING NORTH ASIA APOCALYPSE

THE ONCE ONLY ON THE 2ND TUESDAY OF DECEMBER EDITION!

Yes you read right,

THE 2ND TUESDAY OF DECEMBER EDITION!!

OF BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

THE 2ND TUESDAY OF DECEMBER BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! will give you a microphone, an audience, five judges, a stage, the Master of Conflict,

AND A SCORE ADDER GUARANTEED TO BE ABLE TO ADD YOUR SCORES

ALL OF THEMMMMM!!!

ALL OF YOUR SCORES AS JUDGED BY THE JUDGES!!!!

So that you can take to the stage and SLAM YOUR:

Rant

Medical history

Love of babies

Favourite scene from your still to be made hit unmade sitcom

POETRY!

POETRY — YES — POETRY!!

POETREEEEEE!!!

A one-time only December edition of BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

Be there

No props, no music, your original material.

Situationrebellion X Eureka! on 3 December 2010 @ SMITHS ALTERNATIVE BOOKSHOP

2010-12-05T11:57:00.011+11:00

The Morphonemics Rebellion of One Nine Hundred and forty-five minutes was an unorganised rebellion by people who refused to shave their armpits which occurred at IP address 130.102.42.17

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

The rebels objected to No matter what you're always number one

My prized possession
One and only
I adore ya
Girl I want ya that had occurred. It felt good. The rebellion is recorded as ceasing at zero nine hundred and zero and one minutes with a Noninfallibility status update.

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

The Battle of Nonscarcity Stockade (by which the rebellion is popularly known) was fought on One Nine Hundred and forty-six minutes and named for the One and only

I adore ya
Girl I want ya
The one I cant live without, thats you, thats you
You're my precious structure erected by Noninfallibility bookers during the conflict.

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

Resulting in the posting by some twelve people (including 6 Noninfallibility soldiers) it was the most significant conflict in the status updates of six hundred people and twenty three remains the only unarmed rebellion in the 130.102.42.17 declared the Farcetta.

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

The rebellion and its flag, the Noninfallibility Flag have become powerful symbols of a major turning point in 130.102.42.17.^{[citation needed]}

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

The event was the culmination of Sulphapyrazine disobedience in the 130.102.42.17 during the Deisticalness rush with miners objecting to heavily priced Noninfallibility items, the expense of a Noninfallibility 's Licence, Youre used to going out your way to impress these mr. wrongs.

But you can be yourself for me, I'll take you as you are
I know they said believe in love is a dream that can't be real (via the licence) without representation and the actions of the Preremorse and its agents (the police and military)^[1][2]

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

The local rebellion in 130.102.42.17 grew from a Churchill Reform Hadaway movement and culminated in organised battle at the 130.102.42.17 against colonial Goddamnit.

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

Mass public support for the captured 'Noninfallibilitys' in the colony's capital of the 130.102.42.17 when they were placed on trial resulted in the introduction of full Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh

I always knew you were the best
The coolest girl I know
So prettier than all the rest
The star of my show.^[3]

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

The Youre used to going out your way to impress these mr. wrongs.

But you can be yourself for me, I'll take you as you are
I know they said believe in love is a dream that can't be real Rebellion is controversially identified with the birth of democracy in Australia and interpreted by some as a political revolt.^[4][5][6]

^{______________________________________________________________________________________________}

PODCAST OF BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix on 16 November 2010

2010-12-03T08:27:00.002+11:00

The finest in podcast words about stuff, with special extra levels of expletives directed at JACINTA.

For your listening

PODCAST LINK GOES HERE

Thanks RiotACT for hosting

Thanks Leon our sound guy for making the podcast

Poet gets words published

2010-11-28T10:55:00.003+11:00

Keep an eye out for The Delinquent 13 which will include: Real Gone Lee-on and The Way We Go; two poems by me, your poet in the Can.

This image has nothing to do with

the Delinquent magazine

While you wait check out The Delinquent 12 for poetry, short stories and pictures of space from space.

The Delinquent is a United Kingdom-based journal, support a poet.

One Hundred Words on the TWELVE NOVEMBER CANBERRA AUSTRALIAN POETRY SLAM FINAL

2010-11-20T06:17:00.003+11:00

Poets from the Canberra BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and Front Slam filled the air with words Friday night at Smiths Alternative Bookshop. They came to sock it out to represent their Slams at the Australian Poetry Slam National Final. CJ Huet stole the audience with the Underbelly of the Can as Raphael Kabo gunned down Ned Kelly; both narrowly beat Jack-in-the-Box Will Small and Sledge-Hammer Josh Inmania. The Phoenix Pub BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! will take pride in taunting that Front Slam for the next year, both finalists came from BAD!SLAM! nights of heckling, applause, general yelling, the occasional anarchist riot, cider, whiskey, beer, and much poetry.

(Thanks to Johnboy for filming and the RiotACT who did a short write-up of the night here)

2010-11-09T22:00:00.003+11:00

Cannibal Kittens & Dubious Mothers

Presents

What-for Tenettabaum? Avuncular!

Canberra’s 2^nd Annual

Spoken Word Showcase

at The Front,

hosted by Andrew Gayland

and Julian Fleetwood

26 November, words start 8pm, $5 Entry

Featuring:

JACINTA, Alison McGregor,

CJ, Josh Inmania,

Miranda Lello,

Joel Barcham and

More Julian Fleetwood!

Guest words from:

Bela Farkas,
Michael Klapdoor

& Leon Twardy

Joining them from
the locker room are
the winners of
the Front Slam’s
year long special moves
word-off championship
word-on again then
on the floor with more words:

Benjo, antyphayse
and CJ, AGAIN!

Australian Poetry Slam ACT Final

2010-11-06T08:19:00.002+11:00

Time	12 November · 19:30 - 22:00
Location	Smiths Alternative Bookshop 76 Alinga Street Canberra, Australia
More info	You are invited to the sausage-fest final of the ACT heats of the AUSRALIAN POETRY SLAM TWENTY -TEN. TEN FINALISTS The Flying V, CJ Huet, Michael Klapdor, Raphael Kabo, Josh Inmania, Will Small, Malcolm Coller, Gerard Atkinson, Barry McGloin & Darian Issac will be judged by you who decide who will represent Canberra’s BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and Front Slam at the 2010 AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL POETRY FINAL. Be there JUDGE THEM Cash Prizes for the winner and runner-up donated by the ACT Writers Centre and the Audiences of BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and Front Slam! A door prizes for you to win too. And with special guest YES SPECIAL GUEST Sacrificial Poet and Feature Performer JACINTA! Be there, 730pm... “The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules.”

SITUATIONNORMALX

2010-11-04T07:02:00.003+11:00

Time:	05 November · 17:30 - 20:30
Location:	Smiths Alternative Bookshop 76 Alinga Street Canberra, Australia
Created by:	SituationXnormaL
More info:	This is not a drill. It's actually happening. Though it may not be... This month with feature performances from Gerald Keaney and the Skip-ster 5:30 to 8:30pm artists + performers + poets + experiments + open mic = stuff happens

Canberra Roller Derby League - the Surley Griffins Crush Red Bellied Black Hearts

2010-10-31T12:32:00.001+11:00

Sixteen October 2010 and the Surley Griffins out-roll, gun and tonne the Red Bellied Black Hearts; smashing a 106 to 74 blooding. With no hesitation in grinding Black noses into the track, 308 Amy Kazee’s wilful skater annihilation came with Surley defence and offence that out-matched individual Black efforts by 4’11 Bambi and 72 Belle. Even if the bout had a Black Jammer Ref who could count and skate, or a rule to stop Surley Jammer track-cuts to points, the Blacks still would have lost. If the Blacks do not find some teamwork they are in for a Brindabelters bashing.

SXN zine one

2010-09-30T22:52:00.020+10:00

Situation X Normal Zine one

Featuring Jacinta, also known as Hadley

And Tim McCann

Thanks to Hal Judge too.

The sXn zine one

Put together by Anthony Hayes. You could follow this link and read his blog:

antyphayes

Situation Normal x (FOR FUTURE REFERENCE)

2010-09-29T23:23:00.005+10:00

Bring everything you’ve got.

This month with feature performances from

Nick Delatovic

And

Brian Hinksman

5:30 to 8:30pm.

artists + performers + poets + experiments + open mic = stuff happens.

Smiths alternative bookshop, 76 alinga street, canberra, friday 1 october 2010.

Support a Poet: Eve's Harvest out now

2010-09-19T21:16:00.027+10:00

Eve's Harvest has been published by Lip Magazine.
Edited by Canberra's Zoya Patel and Michelle Lovi the anthology includes the poem
The House Was Built, one of three peices written by me for Tableaux Vellum.

Follow this link to purchase a copy: Eve's Harvest.

Canberra Roller Derby League – 11 September 2010 the Brindabelters vs the Black'n'Blue Belles

2010-09-13T08:04:00.005+10:00

The Black'n'Blue Belles overcame the Brindabelters (112 points to 105) in a bout where Belles’ Jammer ShortStop had her run of the track. Multiple high score jams from ShortStop, supported by Kitten Kaboodle, Dee Nature (previously the Surly Griffins’ awesome Pivot) and defender Cherry AxeWound reduced large Belle point deficits several times. For the Belters, consistent jams from Captain Shaggle Frock were let down by poor defence from teammates Dalai Lama and Ova Bearing, whose cheap shots outshone past cheating by team-mate the Dutch Ass. In the end the Belles justly took a close bout from the Belters.

Canberra Roller Derby Two Eleven Naught — a 100 hundred word pre-season commentary

2010-09-08T13:42:00.008+10:00

The first roller derby bout of the 2011 season is pending. A break of the Black’n’Blue Belles and Surly Griffins combined with the addition of new skaters gives Canberra four teams. How this plays could be positive. Last season the Griffins had pulled together the tactical nous to crush their weightier cheat-reliant opposition the Belles. With effort what the Griffins developed will transfer across the four teams: the new Brindabelters and too long named Red Bellied Black Hearts, along with the rebuilt Griffins and Belles. This change has forced a team bias re-alignment — Viva la Black Hearts!

Support a Poet

2010-09-03T10:22:00.008+10:00

The Delinquent Issue 12; this magazine contains a good chunk of diverse and interesting words. Including the words Hear the News, The Bacterium that Hated Eskimo Joe and My concept is: Care Bears, those are by me. Follow this link to buy the download or have the paper issue sent to you.

The Delinquent Magazine Link

Support a poet.

The Chicken Poem @ REM Magazine

2010-08-31T23:27:00.001+10:00

The Chicken Poem lives.
At REM Magazine.
Follow this link:
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BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! 21 September @ The Phoenix, Canberra

2010-08-28T20:23:00.001+10:00

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

A poetry slam that gives you a microphone, a stage, an audience, two minutes, five judges and a random challenge from the Master of Conflict.

But

not only do we give you all those things, we also give you the opportunity to walk away with three first prizes donated by

IMPACT COMICS!

GORMAN HOUSE MARKETS

AND AN UNSUSPECTING FARMER!

Previous winners have claimed action figures, potatoes, comics, kransky, finger limes and carrots!

And

because we finally remembered to get a theme from the audience for our always well received random introductions

Mark Latham will be at BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! to break LEGS AND ARMS!

and shake a tree or two.

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! HAS BECOME TOPICAL!

But, because Mark Latham, three first prizes and the Master of Conflict are not enough we bring you:

LEON AS RALPH

This duo has famously, three times in a row, gone against the convention, that you should, perform, your own stuff, on stage, to win slam, at slams, AND WON THREE TIMES!,

So we bring to you

The WORDS of Ralph with

the ACTIONS and MOUTH of Leon!!!

So be at the Phoenix, East Row, Civic, at 730pm for signup for an 8pm start to join ANDREW GAYLAND, THE MASTER OF CONFLICT, THE SCORE ADDER AND JACINTA

for

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT!

Remember two minutes, no props, no music, original material, and your words!

SITUATIONXNORMAL

2010-08-27T17:10:00.002+10:00

NO TAG LINE

artists + performers + poets + experiments + open mic =
stuff happens

between 5:30 and 8:30
at night

at SMITHS
ALTERNATIVE BOOKSHOP

FIRST FRIDAY
OF EVERY MONTH

Three Poems into the World

2010-08-25T08:07:00.001+10:00

I got accepted into The Delinquent in the United Kingdom.

“Thanks for your submissions. We drove a van through the plate glass window and grabbed “Hear the News”, “The Bacterium that Hated Eskimo Joe”, and “My concept is: Care Bears”. Maybe we could have got away with more, but the sirens were screaming for blood.

We’re pleased to say we’ll be displaying these beautiful works in issue 12 of the delinquent”

So they have great acceptance letters while their journal also contains diverse and interesting poetry and short stories, two reasons to buy their magazine.

The other reason to buy their magazine is that I expect every person, all one of you, who accidentally visit this blog, on average twice a day, to buy a copy — in .pdf or hardcopy. Yes, the last reason to buy this magazine is that I expect you to buy the magazine called The Delinquent.

Support your poets, their poems are often about you even when you don’t know it, and on average they make less than musicians and artists while not complaining about it anywhere near as much as either of those two groups of artistic community members.